It’s been one of ‘those’ weekends…I feel like crap on a stick. Still, it WAS a WEEKEND, and those are sacred under any and all circumstances.

or NOT. Killing a mockingbird is NEVER an option for me.

Initially, I assumed the high point of Day 3 would be enrolling my grandson, Kendall in his first year in high school. Sophmore. Whooda thought either of us would’ve survived to see this event?! I was going to take his picture outside the front doors but he said he would feel like a dweeb. By the time we left there were so many other people there I’d have felt like a dweeb too. Not that that would’ve stopped me. When you’re a teenager, the world revolves around what other kids think. When you’re over 50, you don’t give much of a rat’s ass what ANYone thinks.

Kendall was bumped out of top spot as the event of the day by a tiny baby mockingbird stranded in the middle of the road on the way to the school. 2 other baby birds which appeared to be his siblings were already squashed…he was the lone survivor of whatever madness and mayhem had knocked them out of their nest prematurely. I had other more pressing and important things to do, but I simply could not leave that baby bird in the road to be squashed like his siblings. Besides, the mockingbird is my totem animal. To have left him there to die would not only have seared my conscience and caused me unbearable pain, but would’ve been a dreadful omen as well, considering the aforementioned fact.

I came to this realization years ago (that the mockingbird is my ‘totem’). My first mockingbird fell out of its nest when I was 20 and living with my daughter’s father (I use that term quite loosely). It was just a few months before I became pregnant with her. He was the first of a total of (now, including Atticus, toDAY’s rescue) 5 baby mockingbird rescues. When they have come into my life, they have always been about the same age…about half fledged. The real kicker is that every single time I have rescued one of these babies, their appearance in my life has ALWAYS preceded some monumental change and shift in the direction of my life.

Frequent appearances are not just with the babies either. There was a period of about 3 years (following my last baby mockingbird rescue) during which it was as if these things had taken it upon their species to be my guardian angels. Mockingbirds were EVERYwhere that I went…ALL the time. And I’m not talking about being at a distance, they would come right up to me, close enough to feel my breath! They would follow me from the office to my vehicle every evening, and follow me from the parking lot to the door the next morning. One morning, a mocking bird landed on the back of my truck as I pulled into my parking spot at work, right behind my door, and didn’t as much as FLINCH when I got out of the truck and closed the door. And yes, it proceeded to follow me from tree to tree to sign to tree, all the way to the office door.

I had my mom out running errands one day and was sharing with her how mockingbirds had become my constant companions. As I was telling her the story, we were sitting in the parking lot at Hardee’s eating breakfast biscuits, being serenaded by, you guessed it, a mockingbird in a tree right next to the car. And as usual, for the rest of the day, mockingbirds were everywhere we went…sitting on parking signs in the parking spaces we parked in, on the sidewalk in front of the store doors, singing in nearby trees. My mother was completely taken aback by such a vivid, day long demonstration of my earlier claims, saying she would never have believed it to be so over the top if she had not seen it happening ALL DAY, herself.

I could share story after story like these, and it’s been going on for YEARS. There are periods where such sightings are much more frequent than at other times, but mockingbirds are never far from me, either in body or in spirit. You just cannot convince me there is not something supernatural about these sort of appearances. If this most recent appearance of a baby mockingbird continues in keeping with those past, this could be a portent of some radical change in my life. I’m not sure whether to be excited or scared.

His name is Atticus.

So many things and so many people demand our attention and our energies. Each claim equal importance over all the others. Yet our present reality is that no one can be everything to everyone all the time. Not you, not even me. Though it may often be quite difficult to convince others of this (especially when you have made a habit of attempting to MEET all unreasonable expectations anyway), you must realize this yourself and periodically take stock of your many endeavors and re-prioritize your focus, based upon your OWN goals, not everyone else’s EXPECTATIONS, challenges and demands.

You must remember that your own sense of self-worth must not be tied up in comparing yourself to others, or their accomplishments. You are on your own path of destiny…don’t allow passersby to distract you, challenge you, OR discourage you to get off course. Just as importantly, neither should you allow those behind you to give you an over-inflated sense of your own position.

There are things we do well, and want to learn to do better. There are new things we want to learn and experience, at the same time we’re improving upon the foundations we’ve already built. There are some things that we don’t particularly WANT to do, but MUST do, nonetheless…at least for now. There are 24 hours in each given day. It’s up to us to find the balance for ourselves…and HOLD ON to it.

Sometimes, you’ve just GOT to stop, sit down, close your eyes, and get RE-FOCUSED on what exactly it is you’re doing, why you’re doing it, and where exactly it is that you want to go from here. Sometimes, the only way to get anything done is to simply STOP DOING, and remember where it was you were headed in the first place, so you can find your way back to the road that’s going to get you there.

Color. PLEASE. I need some COLOR…some sense of warmth and LIFE! It’s raining here AGaiN!!!!! And it’s COLD. And why I went for 2 days withOUT Internet and now that it IS raining, I actually HAVE it is as baffling as are the qualifications for being employed by Charter Communications as a technician. But I digress…as usual.

An adult male peacock has about 200 tail feathers that are shed and re-grown annually. About 170 of these tail feathers are ‘eye’ feathers and about 30 are ‘T’ feathers. The structure of these feathers, their placement and the bird’s ability to ‘deploy’ them in stunning displays of color is a natural wonder of intricate and critical design. The mechanisms responsible for producing these beautiful features of the male’s display feathers are very sophisticated.

If you’re painfully GEEKY like Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory, you might be interested in reading more about peacocks and their flashy feathers in this article: (click here). It goes into absurd detail, complete with scientific mathematical equations–GEEZ!), and the appearance of the word ‘genisis’ in the address, along with a light skim over the page’s text seems to indicate there is something in here somewhere about the argument between creationism and evolution. I don’t particularly CARE about such detail, nor does the common peaHEN. The important issue is that to be in the presence of a show-off male peacock is exhilarating and a wonder to behold. Fortunately for the peacock, peahens feel the same way.

You can meet this handsome specimen at Hollywild Animal Park in Inman, SC, or BUY A PRINT of the image above! Better yet…do BOTH!

(Click on the pictures to view a full-frame version, and to see picture title.)

(Click on the preview above to pull up a FULL VIEW of the picture.)

There is no question. With or without an official medical diagnosis, it’s certain that I am afflicted with SAD (seasonal affective disorder). It happens every year. I like winter to an extent, but after a couple of months of it, I’ve had enough…3 months and I’m bordering on severe depression and utter insanity.

Beginning in November, I start feeling unusually lazy and unmotivated. I can’t get going in the mornings and I plop down on the sofa like a slug at the end of a workday and gaze blankly at the TV as though in a coma. I don’t want to go anywhere, don’t want to do anything, don’t want to see anyone. If life did not necessitate full-time employment, I would happily drift into a full-fledged state of winter hibernation until this dreary season was passed.

Here in the south, we are not even graced with any of the normal perks of winter, such as pretty snow. Frozen precipitation here is more often just sloppy sleet and freezing rain, which too often results in DAYS (sometimes WEEKS) without power (aka Internet and TV…EGADS!). Even in those rare events when we actual DO see white stuff, we’re expected to risk life and limb to show up on the job regardless, so we don’t get to ENJOY it while it’s here…which is rarely more than 1 day at best.

Painting, drawing, even writing…creative inspiration and endeavors…it’s the ONE thing, the ONLY thing, I want to do during this miserably depressing season. I would be delighted to hold up in a cave and just paint the winter away, if not for the unreasonable demands of responsible living and friends who just do not understand the typical inclinations of a hermit afflicted with SAD.

I had important things to do today. I SHOULD have ridden at least one horse while the weather is not miserably cold. Instead, I fed them and considered my responsibilities met in full. I should have taken my dogs to the vet for their allergy shots. I overslept instead. I should have gone to pick up a print job that’s going to cost me God knows what. Instead, I started a painting. I’m not finished with it yet. I’m never really finished with anything, which is one reason I love digital media…it’s always available to revisit and improve upon, or even completely rework. If only LIFE were so easy to revist and improve upon…even rework entirely…

CLICK HERE TO BUY PRINTS!

Ralphie: I want an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle!
Mrs. Parker: No, you’ll shoot your eye out.

So, what do YOU think this conversation is about? Leave a reply and add your OWN caption!

I Did Not Die

Do not stand at my grave and forever weep.
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn’s rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and forever cry.
I am not there. I did not die.

by Mary Elizabeth Frye nee Clark

Markiz was my grandson Kendall’s favorite of my 3 horses. He had personality PLUS. He was an Arabian gelding of Polish bloodlines, bred in Switzerland, foaled in New York state. He came to live with me at age 8. When my husband and I separated a few years later, I could not afford board for my mare and Markiz both at our separation, and since my ex expressed a desire to keep Markiz, we took him to board at farm in Greenville county while he fixed up his property for Markiz’s return. My ex ended up abandoning Markiz there at that farm, the owner of which managed to track down my whereabouts a couple of years later to see if I wanted him back because she could no longer afford to care for him since my husband had long since stopped paying for his board and care. Wilma and I went to Greenville a few days later to pick him up and I was able to enjoy him for several more years. He became a wonderful trail horse, I taught a couple of children to ride on Markiz, and many friends enjoyed riding him too. He had the personality of a lap dog, always playful with everyone and always flirty with pretty mares.

There are 2 words that strike terror in the heart of every horse owner: founder and colic. Founder is a condition that effects a horse’s hooves; colic effects the digestive system. The causes for both are many and varied…many horses survive, many more don’t. Me, my friends and family, my vet, and my farrier all fought valiantly for 3 months to try to save our beloved friend Markiz when he was stricken with founder on Labor Day of 2003. During his illness, I went to the barn every morning before work to clean and doctor his feet; came home for lunch every day to clean and doctor them again, to walk him and to make sure he drank something before I went back to work; again every evening when I got home from work, and again before going to bed around 11pm. I remember many a cold night walking with him in the arena in the moonlight, talking to him and singing to him as we walked. He really seemed comforted by that. One night we saw a shooting star that was so bright, it lit up the entire barn area like daylight before fading away. My wish of course, was for him to get well, but I was denied that wish.

I was not able to let Markiz go as long as he had fight in him, but in the end he was not able to overcome the devastating effects of that condition. When HE had given up, he let me know he was ready to rest, and I didn’t have the heart to force him to go on any further. We ended his suffering and laid him to rest on a cold winter day, December 21, 2003, in the cattle pasture of my good friends Wilma and Jack. 6 years later, remembering him, remembering that horrible 3 month nightmare, still makes me cry like a baby.

After his burial, Kendall and I took some flowers and laid them on his grave out there in Jack’s cow pasture, and we said our last goodbyes to our friend. It was almost as if Markiz was with us out there, assuring us that he was home and happy…that he wanted us to know he had loved us as we had loved him…to say thank you for trying so hard to restore his health, but that it was time now to say goodbye…time for him to go run and frolic with the horses of heaven. I created the portrait you see at the beginning of this post, in the days that followed our loss.

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I HATE pop-ups ads. They are a rude intrusion. But banner ads and side-bar ads are not only tolerable but sometimes quite useful.

While puttering around on Digital Image Cafe this morning, I spotted an ad for Topaz image editing plug-ins. Image editing plug-ins are one of the creative photographer’s best friends. Many incredible effects can be achieved through Photoshop alone (if you’ve got the time to learn them all), but not all. The right filter, applied creatively and correctly, can bring out the awesome in even the most mundane shots.

At the Topaz site, an incredible discounted offer for the Topaz Photoshop bundle was mentioned and linked to Scott Kelby’s blog page. TWO great finds in ONE! I own one of Scott’s Photoshop For Digital Photographers books and use it as a literal HANDbook.

This incredible product and discounted offer from Scott’s blog is good only through THIS WEEKEND, so check out these links TODAY!

(The image accompanying this post was pre-Topaz…good but nothing that would knock your socks off. My original intention was to post a before and after, but upon attempting to install my new plug-ins, it became apparent that my current CPU is not supported. One more incentive to graduate to a new mac SOON, very soon…)

(Click on the preview above to pull up a FULL VIEW of the picture.)

Sometimes, things just don’t work the way they’re supposed to.

I shot this scene in the garden of an acquaintance. It seemed worthy of recording, since you don’t come across too many scarecrows with a beer in hand. But then, if all you had to do day in and day out was stand in a field in all manner of weather and scare away birds, I guess an altered state of consciousness COULD be somewhat useful.

I confess to having added the crow. Bob told me that the scarecrow was mostly for looks, as he had, on numerous occasion seen crows and other assorted fowl perch upon this novelty. Even though I was not fortunate enough to witness said hilarity, I am NOT without my own means to create my OWN Kodak moment.

I had a great image of one of the MANY crows that live near my own small farm, but the setting was quite uninteresting. I had this interesting shot of Bob’s garden scarecrow…quite unique in itself, but it too, still lacking SOMEthing. Hmmmm…

In the original shot of the scarecrow, I had failed to use an effective depth of field that would make the focal point (the scarecrow) stand out, so the busy background was distracting. I used a number of layer techniques, filters and effects to try to bring a more effective focal point back to the scarecrow and her pet. Here’s the final result. Won’t likely win any contests, but I thought it rather cute in depicting one of the many ironies of life.